Hi, I'm 50 years old from California; I want to tell you a story...

I was a young man, 20 years old at the time. I went to a cruiser ship to England, and I met this beautiful woman.
She was perfect and we developed a really special relationship... we fell in love...
When we arrived on Newcastle, we planned to buy a house, and create a family.
Well... after about one month on Newcastle, she was pregnant, and we really wanted this son, he was going to be our first kid, and I was really happy.
It happened that one day, when I was going to work, one well-dressed man, with an authority looking, said that the U.S. army needed soldiers for the war in Vietnam. They knew I was American, that's why they picked me... I had no choice... I had to go...
I told my beloved woman what was happening. She was covered in tear after that... and well... me too. We were hugging, crying, telling how much we love each other. I told her to don't get nervous because of the baby. She knew I really had to go, so she said, it's ok and she'd never forget me.
The war was horrible... I saw dead corpses every day, of enemies... people I've never seen in my life and I had to kill to survive, and to serve my country and also friends...
One day, I attempted suicide, but I remembered that I had a beautiful and beloved woman in my house waiting for me, and a child to see growing and educate. It was horrible... I was really missing her... we didn't had telephone in our base, so we had to write letters.
One day I received one letter from her that was incomplete, and it had blood on it. I was really worried, it was a shock, and I just wanted to go back to England... But I could not go...
Finally, in 1975 the War ended, and I went to America. For some reason they didn't brought me to England, so I had to pay my travel. I was feeling miserable and anxious during the travel, I could not sleep, I could just think of her
When I arrived, on Newcastle, I went to my house looking for her, but I didn't found her, so I asked my neighbours if they knew anything about her, they said that one day she just disappeared... and it was the day that the bloody incomplete letter was sent...
I searched for her everywhere on England, and then in the rest of the United Kingdom... But I just couldn't find her...
I returned to America 5 years later. I've never found her, and never found any other woman that could complete my life as she did...
I don't know anything about her, I don't know if she ran away because she could not support the fact that I was away from home for so long, I don't know if she's dead... And I hope not... And there is something in my mind that is disturbing me... who sent the letter? I've never asked it myself before, because I was too worried about her and my son... but how did I received that letter?
Now... here I am. I'm 50 years old, living on California, feeling miserable every day of my life, alone and telling you this story.

TheUnwisePoet